Neither music, nor life, should be a lonely journey.
And if it is, the journey can change.
It's a question of curiosity.
The Flu Bug
Is not the most welcome member
Of The Insect World.
Unlike most insects
They do not contribute to Bio Diversity.
Only to Depleted Energy.
They are also a great boost
To the profit margins of
Paracetamol, Kleenex Tissues
And Lemon and Honey.
Fortunately
The human body is a wonderful machine
And will usually,
Eventually
Invent its own brand of
Bug Spray.
Hopefully today.
Discover Fee Aiming For The Other Side
Over a period of recent history I have to come to the conclusion that I am not as disqualified from becoming the president of the USA as I had suspected, for most of my life, that I might be.
Perhaps we all set our sights a little too low. When they say that The American Dream is available to anyone, they really do mean it.
Anyway, we live in exciting times. Anyone else thinking it might be time to apply for a Green Card?
I’ve not travelled by plane or train over the last couple of weeks. I have used the automobile. I have also journeyed by bicycle, by paddle board, by foot, by swimming and by kayak during this time.
My favourite forms of transport are all those self powered ones.
Generally slower, it’s true. Certainly needing more effort.
But I like the slower pace that is under my control.
I can properly observe the world that I’m passing through.
And, as an added bonus, I always feel like I’ve Earned My Dinner.
Win, win. Winner.
So I did jump into my “taking sides” thing. I’m still not going to tell you what it was about, because that is pretty irrelevant. I explained myself in as clear a manner as I was able. And then waited a little bit nervously for a response.
Very soon I received one. It was full of …
… Understanding And Empathy.
Now, because I know the person with whom I was communicating, it seems crazy that I ever feared a different reaction. But, in truth, we can never know for sure. We’re all changing day to day. There is always an element of uncertainty in any interaction, even with those folk we think we know.
But, yes, I received understanding and empathy.
It still exists.
Of course it does.
I think these are the seeds we should all be planting as much as we are possibly able. We’ll all undoubtedly get an opportunity at some point today.
It shouldn’t involve any heroism. But we might need to put our flags down for a moment.
Discover Fee Advocating More Non-Heroism.
At some point we may well have to “Take Sides”.
For some of us that is an inevitable but almost impossible predicament.
Because even in the most seemingly straightforward of instances, it is not possible to break things down to the glorious, comfortable, black and white of Good vs. Evil. When we start to think a little a bit and to listen more to different points of view, it becomes a lot less easy to choose sides.
And yet we are living in a world where fewer people seem happy to play Devil’s Advocate and wrestle with the nuances of tribal differences. Less willing to accept those people who do. Instead sides are chosen with absolute conviction and certainty.
For many years I also found myself very happy to tie myself to my own particular flags of convenience. It’s the easier, mentally lazier, path. That’s why we take it. But that kind of blind tribalism is, to be very honest, a potentially fatal characteristic. Certainly damaging to our own personal development, but in the end, to us all as a community of human beings.
Never the less, despite an overall need for more nuanced world views and less iron clad certainty, at some point we may still find ourselves having to Take Sides. Or at least appear to take sides. This is a moment when we open ourselves up to conflict and misunderstanding.
Honestly, I struggle with all of that as I get older. These days I’d rather attempt to sit on the fence! I know how messy all that side taking can get.
Never the less sometimes there is a need to take a risk, and stick our necks out a little bit. Not out of certainty, but because it’s the right thing to do. Sometimes there isn’t a choice.
nb. You will observe that I have provided no examples above. I am in fact wrestling with a specific personal example at the moment. I’m just trying to frame the situation for myself, and build up a bit of courage. :)
Discover Fee Trying To See Things Differently
We race towards every Finishing Line. Becoming frustrated because we’re not getting there quick enough.
Except for the last finishing line.
For that one we can’t slow down fast enough.
What is your pollen?
That’s the million dollar question. Because once you’ve answered that one, everything else comes naturally.
Simply fly to The Next Flower.
nb. these kind of “proverbial” statements can be both enlightening and frustrating at the same time. In this instance, for instance, we are not, strictly speaking, bees. Which is both a hinderance and an opportunity. For us life is more complicated. When it feels like a hinderance (being a human) … when we don’t know what the hell to do … then we probably need to make things much simpler. For instance … we can just start flying without worrying about anything as complicated as where we’re supposed to be heading. Maybe we have more bee-ish instincts than we realise.
Discover Fee Acknowledging A Hard Truth
As the lethargy landed
And the atrophy set in
I watched
The Worker Bee
Fly to another flower.
Always moving.
Unquestioning.
A part of something
Much bigger than him.
Not searching for meaning
Or change
Or improvement
Or attention.
Seeking
Only
Pollen.
For a queen
Without a crown.
A fly landed on my knee while I was meditating with eyes closed.
The slight sensation of a tiny leg touching my skin. I know it’s a fly!
There are lots of other sensations happening at the same time. The sound and the feel of the wind. Distant voices. The weight and feel of my body on the bench. The automatic instinct to swat the fly away. The thought to try and not swat the fly away. Like a challenge, y’know? A car passing by. The sound of a bike passing very close by. More flies arriving on my knee (“hey, guys, this fella isn’t defending himself against imminent disease and painful death by Fly Power. Sucker!” shouts an imaginary voice in my head).
It’s all going on out there. And when I say “out there” I mean…well somewhere “up” there. Y’know, in my skull. It’s hard to place where any of this is happening really though. It appears to be happening “out” there. But it’s not really, is it?
It is actually all happening Up There.
But, then again, even the sensation of “up there” is…well …. “up there”.
So is that where “up there” is? Is it better not to think about any of this at all? Should we call the psychiatric ward yet? Is anybody still reading?
There are a million things to be distracted by, even before we switch on The Internet and get battered by “World News Events” or by an urge to eat a pancake.
Does anything really change? If it’s only happening “up there”?
As usual. I’m just asking. I find this all very interesting.
Don’t let me distract you from anything important though … :)
Discover Fee Trying To Work Out What To Ask
You’re wondering whether I actually Paddled Boarded aren’t you?
I know what goes through your mind when I mention that I was going to do something, and then don’t return to the subject in the very next blog. Or the one after that at the latest.
Well, I’m sorry to keep you on tenterhooks. But yes, I did paddle board. Not just once. I’ve paddle boarded twice since I mentioned the subject all of four days ago. (Please show a little more patience next time!).
I paddle boarded across the lake. Along the side of the lake. Down the middle of the lake. Round the odd island or two. (Little islands, not huge ones though. I don’t want to boast too much).
And though I was occasionally wobbly, I never fell off once. Even when the speed boats went past, doing their utmost to disturb my equilibrium. Even when I was in the path of the howling wind (slight breeze) that swept down the length of Brielse Meer (as the lake in question is called).
So, no. I didn’t not mention the paddle boarding because I fell off and was embarrassed to tell you.
Oh yes. I Know What You Were Thinking.